TL;DR
Get health and wellness essentials delivered free with Prime
- Fast, free delivery on millions of items
- Prime Video, Amazon Music and more included
- Member-only deals all year
In a first-person essay published by Being Patient on October 7, 2026, retired professor and artist Robert G. Fishman recounts his mother’s dementia and the paintings he made in response. He says the work helped him stop trying to restore her memories and pay more attention to the connection they still share.
Robert G. Fishman, a retired professor, nonprofit executive and visual artist, has described how a series of paintings shaped the way he relates to his mother, who has dementia. In a first-person essay published by Being Patient on October 7, 2026, Fishman says the artwork helped him shift from trying to make his mother remember to recognizing the emotional connection he says remains between them.
Fishman writes that he spoke with his mother daily after she was widowed in 1999. She lived alone in Florida and moved to an independent living facility at about age 91. He initially interpreted changes in her behavior as normal aging. By age 94, he noticed she was struggling to use her phones. A visit in late 2023 brought more serious concerns into view: he found her apartment in poor condition, the refrigerator empty and her cat’s presence apparent in the smell of urine. His mother, he writes, insisted everything was fine.
A neurologist diagnosed his mother with early-stage dementia, according to Fishman’s account. He says she declined further testing and rejected the diagnosis. He describes how their daily phone conversations had led him to underestimate the changes, because she could still sound like herself. He also writes that his mother had feared Alzheimer’s after her own mother was diagnosed at 73 and died seven years later; Fishman had thought his mother might have avoided the same fate.
After his mother refused local assisted living, Fishman and his family persuaded her to move closer to them in Maryland. He says the move addressed practical challenges but not his own grief and frustration. In his studio, he began painting landscapes and removing details from one version to the next. He called the sequence “Deconstructed Landscapes” and later understood the changing images as a way to represent his mother’s memory loss. Four paintings developed into a series he calls “The Art of Forgetting.”
A Shift From Correction to Connection
Fishman’s account focuses on a difficult change in a family relationship: the caregiver’s expectations may no longer match what a person with dementia can recall or do. He writes that he corrected his mother and became angry when she could not manage familiar tasks, sometimes yelling and feeling guilty afterward. Those details are his personal experience, not a claim that every family responds in the same way.
His stated change was to stop treating every mistaken memory as something to fix. Fishman says he now tries to enter his mother’s world rather than pull her back into his. The distinction matters to readers supporting a relative: his essay describes how his own understanding changed, while leaving individual care needs and family circumstances specific to each person.
The paintings also gave Fishman a way to make sense of an experience he found hard to express directly. He writes that a landscape could lose detail while retaining shape, color and rhythm. He came to see that as a parallel to his mother’s memory: forgetting, in his interpretation, did not mean she had disappeared. That is the personal meaning he draws from the artwork, rather than a clinical description of dementia.
Products Worth Considering
Garmin Forerunner 55 GPS Running Smartwatch, Black
Garmin Forerunner 570 GPS Running Smartwatch, 47mm, Aluminum, Black
Coway Mighty AP-1512HH(W) Air Purifier, White
As an affiliate, we earn on qualifying purchases.
From Florida to Maryland Care
The essay traces a gradual timeline rather than a single medical event. Fishman’s mother lived independently in Florida into her early 90s, and he says he first noticed changes only after years of daily calls. His visit in late 2023 prompted him to seek an in-person understanding of her situation. The neurologist’s early-stage dementia diagnosis followed, but Fishman says his mother declined additional testing and did not accept it.
Fishman describes his mother’s move to Maryland as a family decision made after she rejected assisted living near her Florida home. She eventually moved into a memory care unit 10 minutes from his home. His essay also connects his response to his mother’s long-standing fear of Alzheimer’s, rooted in her mother’s diagnosis and death. He does not present the family story as a general account of dementia or as evidence about the effects of art therapy.
““Over my dead body.””
— Robert G. Fishman, describing his mother’s reaction to assisted living
What the Essay Does Not Establish
Being Patient’s piece is a first-person account, not a medical report or a study of dementia care. It does not provide the mother’s own account, further clinical details about her condition, or information about how her symptoms have changed since Fishman wrote the essay. Fishman says a neurologist diagnosed early-stage dementia, but he also says his mother refused further testing and rejected that diagnosis.
The essay does not claim that painting changes the course of dementia or works for every caregiver. It describes how Fishman says making art helped him process his own frustration and adjust his interactions. The source excerpt ends as he begins describing what he does during visits, so it does not provide further detail about their routines or his mother’s current condition.
Visits Continue in Memory Care
Fishman says his mother now lives in a memory care unit close to his home. He describes visiting her and trying to respond to the person she is now, rather than testing or correcting her recollections. The essay does not announce a new care plan, medical update or scheduled development; the next steps described are the ongoing visits and family care he recounts.
For readers following the account, the main development is a change in Fishman’s perspective, not a new diagnosis or treatment. His paintings remain the means through which he says he made that change visible to himself. No further details about his mother’s care or the future of the art series are given in the source material.
Key Questions
Who is Robert G. Fishman?
Fishman is a retired college professor and nonprofit executive, as well as a visual artist and author. Being Patient identifies his experience with his mother’s dementia as the inspiration for his “Art of Forgetting” painting series and the children’s book “Bubby’s Still Here.”
What did Fishman say prompted his paintings?
He says he began making increasingly simplified landscape paintings as his mother’s memory and daily functioning changed. He later interpreted the removal of details from the images as a way to represent her changing memory.
What did Fishman say changed in how he treated his mother?
Fishman writes that he stopped trying to correct his mother or make her remember and instead tried to meet her where she was during visits. He describes this as a personal shift, not a prescription for all families.
Does the essay say painting treats or slows dementia?
No. Fishman says painting helped him process his feelings and understand his mother’s memory loss. The essay does not claim that art treats or slows dementia.
Where does Fishman’s mother live now, according to the essay?
Fishman says she moved to a memory care unit about 10 minutes from his home in Maryland. He describes continuing to visit her there but gives no further medical update.
Source: rss
